disneydream06: (Jon--morzsa)
[personal profile] disneydream06
Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !
If you are a guy you have to read this. If you are a woman read only if you have a strong stomach. LoL!!!!!

1.) How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.

2.) Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

3.) Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows

them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

4.) How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."

5.) How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

6.) Why do men fart more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

7.) If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

8.) What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told.

9.) I married a Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.

10.) Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes

a woman's sex drive by 90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.

11.) Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

12.) Women will never be equal to men until they can

walk down the street with a bald head and a beer

gut, and still think they are sexy.

14.) In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

 

Date: 2004-05-28 10:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] celestialwillow.livejournal.com
Men are wankers - you know this to be true!

Date: 2004-05-29 02:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brienf.livejournal.com
'tis a good thing you're not looking for a girlfriend - this wouldn't exactly impress one.

Date: 2004-05-29 05:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thespian15.livejournal.com
A friend sent me this and after years of working with mostly female nurses that are always talking down about their boyfriends and husbands, and sharing emails about how superior ladies are to men I had to post this one. lol...
Yeah, I should be careful it would probably be easier to impress a good woman, than the catty gay guys around here. LoL!!!
Take care, Jon

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