Naughty Q&A's.....

From my friend, Jim.


Q: What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A: A cherry float.

Q: What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
A: 1 US leader

Q: What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
A: Beat it - we're closed.

Q: Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?
A: To find a tight seal.

Q: What's the difference between sin and shame?
A: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.

Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?
A: She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"

Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

Q: What's another name for pickled bread?
A: Dill-dough.

Q: Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy?
A: She's withholding evidence.

Q: What's the difference between light and hard?
A: You can sleep with a light on.

Q: Why is sex like a bridge game?
A: You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.

Q: What's the definition of macho?
A: Jogging home from your own vasectomy.

Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.

The End.....

The show that I was directing as come to a close. We have conjured up our final ghost. I am happy to say that we closed on a lot better note than what we opened on. After having to cancel my opening night, we had 85 people there for the closing night. It was so nice. For the five nights we had a total of 220. Not very good, but they were all very good audiences.
Now I wonder how long it will take before they pay me. I am so frustrated with that theater board. argh... All the board members are required to come to all the shows, and be shocked, they didn't all come. There are seven total. One was in the show, three of them came to the show, and one sent his wife, so I don't think that counts. So as far as I am concerned, three of them didn't bother to show up. Why am I not surpised? And of course the business manager didn't show up either and she pisses me off royally, because she thinks she runs the board when in reality she is only an employee.

Well, it is over and I have my life back for the time being. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can get some decent sleep now.
It's so good to be back. lol.....