disneydream06

A couple of jokes from my friend, Jim.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.
After they got their tent all set up, they fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes The Lone Ranger and says,
"Kemo Sabi, look towards sky, what you see?"

The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute,
then says, "Astronomicallyspeaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me Saturn is in Leo.

Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.

Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful, and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What's it tell you, Tonto?"

Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabi, you dumb ass..someone has stolen tent".

As an old Italian Mafia Don lay dying he called his grandson to his bed.

"Grandson, I wanna you lisin to me. I wanna for you
to take my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will
always remember me."

"But," whined the grandson, "I really don't like
guns, Grandpa. How about leaving me your Gold
Rolex Watch instead."

"You lisinna to me," responded the Don. "Somma day
you goina be runna da bussiness, You goina have a
beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big home and a couple
of bambino.

Somma day you goina coma home and maybe finda you
wife in bed with another man. Whatta do you goina do
then?

Point to your watch and say "Times up?"