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Aug. 29th, 2009 09:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
disneydream06Another great one from my friend, Joan........
* More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell
my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
* Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.
* I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink
to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?
* Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be
going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check
your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself
to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by
randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
* I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.
* Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it
wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would
magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we
all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards
or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
* There is a great need for sarcasm font.
* How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
* I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand
than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
* I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.
* The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to
finish a text.
* Was learning cursive really necessary?
* I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger.
* Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a
Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
* How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
* While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it....thanks Mario Kart.
* Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.
* Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get
dirty, and you can wear them forever.
* I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
* Bad decisions make good stories
* Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a
problem....
* Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't
want to have to restart my collection.
* There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
* I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks
me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I
swear I did not make any changes to.
* "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this
ever.
* I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people
watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they
judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching
this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the
room. Will we still be friends after this?'
* While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for
China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain
that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.
* I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes
to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and
run away?
* Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
speed for pedophiles...
* As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
* Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.
* It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
* I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not
to answer when they call.
* Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do
to with it.
* I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
* I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
* More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell
my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
* Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.
* I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink
to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and
sticks when they've invented the lighter?
* Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be
going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the
direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check
your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself
to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by
randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
* I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.
* Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it
wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would
magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we
all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards
or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
* There is a great need for sarcasm font.
* How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
* I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand
than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
* I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.
* The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to
finish a text.
* Was learning cursive really necessary?
* I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger.
* Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a
Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
* How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod
and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
* While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it....thanks Mario Kart.
* Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.
* Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get
dirty, and you can wear them forever.
* I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
* Bad decisions make good stories
* Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a
problem....
* Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't
want to have to restart my collection.
* There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
* I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks
me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I
swear I did not make any changes to.
* "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this
ever.
* I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people
watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they
judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching
this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the
room. Will we still be friends after this?'
* While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for
China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain
that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.
* I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes
to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and
run away?
* Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
speed for pedophiles...
* As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
* Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.
* It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
* I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not
to answer when they call.
* Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do
to with it.
* I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
* I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
