Update.....
Oct. 23rd, 2023 12:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
disneydream06I am going to try and do a long over due update on things.
Let's see if I can remember everything I want to mention.
I'm going to try and make it a kind of bullet point, to try and keep it short and "sweet".
* We were able to have dad's funeral in our church. The minister from the Methodist Church was nice enough to do the service for us. She did a really nice service.
* After the church service we took the casket to the cemetery for the burial. This added some comedy to the day. The funeral director accidentally started taking us out to the Catholic Cemetery. Just before crossing the river he looped back into town and we headed to the correct cemetery. The one next door to our house. He had two burials out at the Catholic Cemetery and just had that in his head. :p
* After all was done we went back to my older brother's house. I suddenly thought, did somebody get dad's rings? My older brother and SIL insisted that my younger brother was supposed to get dad's wedding ring and then I was going to get the ring I gave him for their 25th wedding anniversary. Nobody had them, so I called funeral director. He didn't have them and said he didn't see them when he closed up the casket. He checked with his brother who helps him and he didn't have them either. He said we could dig up the vault/casket and look for them in the casket. I told him No. As far as I was concerned they were in the casket and that was good with me, but I would check with the rest of the family. But if they did it, I wouldn't forgive them. So I went out to tell the family he didn't have the rings, but offered to dig up the grave to look in the casket, but if they did that, I wasn't going to forgive them, because the rings weren't important enough to dig mom and dad back up. My older brother's wife said, it's up to you and Galen because he was supposed to get dad's wedding ring and I was supposed to get the other ring. Thankfully my younger brother was okay with leaving the rings in the casket. And that ended that.
* Three nurses from my last station came to the funeral. That was so nice of them. Also a friend that use to work at the hospital. :)
* I picked out a tombstone for mom and dad. Unfortunately, they are so backed up at their business, it's going to going to be some time next year before they can get to it. And of course the Winters here stop all the cemetery work.
Already forgetting everything I wanted to say...
* I went back to work Monday night, the 16th. So far only three people from my station have said anything about dad's passing. One is a supervisory. One is a nurse that heard it from one of my friend's from my last station. And the third is a nurse that I worked with on another station who is on my FB circle. Nobody else has said a thing. No sympathy card. Nothing. My SIL said that managers can't tell anybody without our permission. I was never asked if I wanted the news shared. Also no recognition at the funeral. No flowers or nothing were sent from Mayo. Apparently that is also up to manager to initiate.
I'm really feeling the love. NOT... In the hours book, I was crossed off and it was written Bereavement. I would think somebody would have seen that and somebody would have questioned that. It's a hospital after all and it's a gossip pit.
* My dizziness problem that I have had is still really bothering me. I saw my regular doc and he sent me to ENT/Balance. I had some, what seem to be VERY expensive tests done and big surprise, No answers were found. Can't wait for that bill. :o :o :o
* I remembered to talk to my doc about my poor sleep and he ordered me some Tarzodone. I think it might be helping a little. I will probably up the dose again soon.
* Last Saturday, the 14th, I went to a little independent movie theater and saw the old monster movie, The Creature From the Black Lagoon, and bought tickets to see Rocky Horror Picture Show that they are showing over Halloween weekend. :)
* Thursday, the 19th, I went to my regular movie theater and saw the original Hocus Pocus. It's been rereleased for it's 30th anniversary. I remember sitting in the theater 30 years ago to watch it. :)
* Not that I am wishing away my life, but between now and the end of the year I have 96 hours of vacation time signed up for. :)
* A couple of days ago, I sent emails to my two US Senators to see if there was anything they could do to help with the debt that dad was saddled with because of, imho, corporate greed. Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance refuses to pay for his hospital bill from back in November, and the nursing home bill kept growing after he no longer had the money to pay for it, and the county financial aide just kept throwing hoops in our way to jump through.
Well, I am sure there is more that I wanted to share, but that catches you all up with most things going on here.......
Let's see if I can remember everything I want to mention.
I'm going to try and make it a kind of bullet point, to try and keep it short and "sweet".
* We were able to have dad's funeral in our church. The minister from the Methodist Church was nice enough to do the service for us. She did a really nice service.
* After the church service we took the casket to the cemetery for the burial. This added some comedy to the day. The funeral director accidentally started taking us out to the Catholic Cemetery. Just before crossing the river he looped back into town and we headed to the correct cemetery. The one next door to our house. He had two burials out at the Catholic Cemetery and just had that in his head. :p
* After all was done we went back to my older brother's house. I suddenly thought, did somebody get dad's rings? My older brother and SIL insisted that my younger brother was supposed to get dad's wedding ring and then I was going to get the ring I gave him for their 25th wedding anniversary. Nobody had them, so I called funeral director. He didn't have them and said he didn't see them when he closed up the casket. He checked with his brother who helps him and he didn't have them either. He said we could dig up the vault/casket and look for them in the casket. I told him No. As far as I was concerned they were in the casket and that was good with me, but I would check with the rest of the family. But if they did it, I wouldn't forgive them. So I went out to tell the family he didn't have the rings, but offered to dig up the grave to look in the casket, but if they did that, I wasn't going to forgive them, because the rings weren't important enough to dig mom and dad back up. My older brother's wife said, it's up to you and Galen because he was supposed to get dad's wedding ring and I was supposed to get the other ring. Thankfully my younger brother was okay with leaving the rings in the casket. And that ended that.
* Three nurses from my last station came to the funeral. That was so nice of them. Also a friend that use to work at the hospital. :)
* I picked out a tombstone for mom and dad. Unfortunately, they are so backed up at their business, it's going to going to be some time next year before they can get to it. And of course the Winters here stop all the cemetery work.
Already forgetting everything I wanted to say...
* I went back to work Monday night, the 16th. So far only three people from my station have said anything about dad's passing. One is a supervisory. One is a nurse that heard it from one of my friend's from my last station. And the third is a nurse that I worked with on another station who is on my FB circle. Nobody else has said a thing. No sympathy card. Nothing. My SIL said that managers can't tell anybody without our permission. I was never asked if I wanted the news shared. Also no recognition at the funeral. No flowers or nothing were sent from Mayo. Apparently that is also up to manager to initiate.
I'm really feeling the love. NOT... In the hours book, I was crossed off and it was written Bereavement. I would think somebody would have seen that and somebody would have questioned that. It's a hospital after all and it's a gossip pit.
* My dizziness problem that I have had is still really bothering me. I saw my regular doc and he sent me to ENT/Balance. I had some, what seem to be VERY expensive tests done and big surprise, No answers were found. Can't wait for that bill. :o :o :o
* I remembered to talk to my doc about my poor sleep and he ordered me some Tarzodone. I think it might be helping a little. I will probably up the dose again soon.
* Last Saturday, the 14th, I went to a little independent movie theater and saw the old monster movie, The Creature From the Black Lagoon, and bought tickets to see Rocky Horror Picture Show that they are showing over Halloween weekend. :)
* Thursday, the 19th, I went to my regular movie theater and saw the original Hocus Pocus. It's been rereleased for it's 30th anniversary. I remember sitting in the theater 30 years ago to watch it. :)
* Not that I am wishing away my life, but between now and the end of the year I have 96 hours of vacation time signed up for. :)
* A couple of days ago, I sent emails to my two US Senators to see if there was anything they could do to help with the debt that dad was saddled with because of, imho, corporate greed. Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance refuses to pay for his hospital bill from back in November, and the nursing home bill kept growing after he no longer had the money to pay for it, and the county financial aide just kept throwing hoops in our way to jump through.
Well, I am sure there is more that I wanted to share, but that catches you all up with most things going on here.......
no subject
Date: 2023-10-23 11:30 am (UTC)I hate to bring up money issues right now, but don't agree to pay any debts of your dad, and just tell people you're still too shocked to think about it right now. Depending on your jurisdiction's laws, family members aren't responsible for the debts of people who have passed away. Creditors can only go after your dad's estate and take from his bank accounts and such. If there's no money left there, scummy creditors might try to get you to agree to pay off his debts "because that's what he'd want", even though you didn't incur the debts.
no subject
Date: 2023-10-29 05:43 am (UTC)No idea what our laws cover.
Sadly, I can only assume they favor corporate. That's what the US stands for. :( :( :(
no subject
Date: 2023-10-29 02:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-10-29 09:38 pm (UTC)I briefly looked through all the papers I signed when dad went into the nursing home and I saw a couple of things that said the resident or their responsible person was responsible for charges, but I didn't notice any that said the monthly payments were the family's responsibility.
I need to look through them again, slower.
But it is so good to have this information to start with. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
no subject
Date: 2023-10-23 02:01 pm (UTC)Who is the executor of his will/trust? For that matter, did he have one?
That really sucks that Mayo did nothing in terms of flowers or anything. Something happened at the observatory where Russet works and no flowers were sent when my mom passed two years ago, but they did get flowers out when my dad passed last year. The university where I work? Nothing. My boss did ask if I could get paid for a few days of bereavement, but because I'm not full-time, nada.
no subject
Date: 2023-10-29 05:50 am (UTC)Corporate America truly and simply SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
no subject
Date: 2023-10-29 06:00 am (UTC)What about the house that you're in, is that yours? If he had no assets, no bank accounts or insurance, you really ought to talk to your siblings about seeing an attorney. You might be able to avoid the final hospital/nursing home bills by saying 'He was his own individual, paying his own bills. WE ARE NOT PAYING THEM.' But you want solid legal advice behind you before you do that!
no subject
Date: 2023-10-29 09:40 pm (UTC)A neighbor, who is a lawyer, is supposed to be looking into that for me.
no subject
Date: 2023-10-29 10:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-10-29 10:55 pm (UTC)I am so tired of adulting. :(
no subject
Date: 2023-10-24 08:38 am (UTC)I am sorry that bastards you work for didn't even have the decency to show sympathy...but I admit, I am not surprised given to how you speak about your co-workers. F them...
I would love to go see those older movies with you! Hocus Pocus, though if complicated for me because I LOVED it when it came out and I will ALWAYS love the sisters but the acting of the young ones was SOOOOO bad that time only made that worse so it's a bit more difficult for me to watch now.
I do hope you get some positive answers regarding the debts with dad. Was there any life insurance policy that could help with that?
BIG HUGS to you, my dear friend. xxx
no subject
Date: 2023-10-29 06:02 am (UTC)LOL... Yes, I can see that. And it's probably already been done. :p
Yeah, the little girl in Hocus Pocus was so no good.
I could tolerate the brother.
The sisters/witches definitely carry the movie.
I am so annoyed that for whatever reason they haven't/won't release Bette's "I Put A Spell On You". :o
Selfishly, what I worry is that one or both places will try or will take the house, and then I am on the street.
Not that either of them care about that. :o
no subject
Date: 2023-10-30 08:48 am (UTC)Is your name on the house? If not, you should contact a lawyer and see about changing that, especially as you have been your father's carer for the last how many years?
no subject
Date: 2023-10-30 10:29 am (UTC)Never work with kids or pets. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
no subject
Date: 2023-10-25 12:27 am (UTC)You sure have had a LOT going on. I do hope the new med does help your sleep.
Yes many hugs, Helen
no subject
Date: 2023-10-29 06:06 am (UTC)So far not a LOT of extra sleep from the Trazodone.
I was averaging 3-4 hours, and I seem to be up to about 5 now, so slight improvement.
Today I took a full 100 mg and didn't quite reach a full 5 hours. UGH.......
no subject
Date: 2023-10-30 08:53 pm (UTC)It sounds like they aren't even working then, the Trazodone. That's too bad.
Hugs, Helen
no subject
Date: 2023-10-31 05:41 pm (UTC)Laid down today and can't fall asleep. :(
no subject
Date: 2023-10-31 06:06 pm (UTC)Hugs, helen
no subject
Date: 2023-10-31 06:44 pm (UTC)lol........
no subject
Date: 2023-10-31 07:17 pm (UTC)