A Few Jokes.....

[disneydream06]

I will put them behind a cut because there a few of them. :)



Another Airline Story
A flight from Seattle to San Francisco unexpectedly stopped in Sacramento
along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay,
and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft, the plane would
re-board in 50 minutes.

Everybody got off the plane except one gentleman who was blind. His seeing
eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of him throughout the
entire flight.

He had flown this very flight before and knew the pilot personally. The
pilot approached him, calling him by name, "Keith, we're in Sacramento for
almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?" The
blind man replied, "No thanks, but I'm sure Buddy would like a walk to
stretch his."

So, the captain took the dog by his lead and walked out of the plane into
the gate area. Sacramento passengers waiting to board the flight slowly
noticed the man in captain's uniform and sunglasses with the seeing-eye dog,

Suddenly, panic erupted. People began grabbing up their carry-on luggage,
and scattering: bent on ticket refunds and changing airlines.

Christmas Golf
Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf,
and one remarked how for Christmas this year he'd love to wake up on
Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to
the golf course meet his buddies and play a round.

His buddies all chimed in and said, "Let's do it! We'll make it a priority,
figure out a way and meet here early, Christmas morning."

Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on the links.

The first guy says, "Boy this game cost me a fortune! I bought my wife such
a diamond ring that she can't take her eyes off it."

Number 2 guy says, "I spent a ton too. My wife is at home planning the
cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures."

Number 3 guy says " Well my wife is at home admiring her new car, reading
the manual."

They all turn to the last guy in the group and he is staring at them like!
they have lost their minds. "I can't believe you all went to such expense
for this golf game.

I slapped my wife on the butt and said, 'Well babe, is it sex or golf?'

And she said, 'Take a sweater'

The Deer Hunter
Saturday morning a deer hunter gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his
lunch made, puts on his long johns, grabs the gun and goes to the garage to
warm up his truck and head down to his favorite hunting area. He backs his
truck out of the garage and discovers the rain is really pouring down, It is
like a torrential downpour. There is also some snow mixed in with the
rain, and the wind is blowing 50 MPH.

He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the weather channel. He
finds it's going to be bad weather all day long, so minutes later, he puts
his truck in the garage, quietly undresses and slips back into bed. There
he cuddles up to his wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and
whispers, "The weather out there is really terrible."

To which she sleepily replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out
hunting in that !"

Comments

[brienf.livejournal.com]

:)

My favorite is the joke where the passengers think their pilot is blind.