(no subject)

Some funnies from my friend Linda.....

DAFYNITIONS
ADULT
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR
A place where women curl up and dye.

CHICKENS
The only animal you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF
Cold Storage.

INFLATION
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO
An insect that makes you like flies better.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
A doctrine, fostered by a delusional,illogical minority.

RAISIN
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES
Something other people have .... similar to my character lines.

OLD
I very quietly confided to my friend that I was having an Affair.
She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?"
And that, my friend, is the definition of 'OLD'!!!

(no subject)

Too Amusing.............

Thatcher Will Not Meet Palin

AP Photo Here’s a hint to Sarah Palin: If your political followers call themselves the “Tea Party,” they might not be greeted so warmly by the British. Palin said last week that while on the way to Sudan, she hoped to stop over in Britain and see Margaret Thatcher, who Palin said she “so admires.” But Thatcher aides said Tuesday that Palin is likely to be “thwarted” if she tries to see Thatcher, and not only because of the former prime minister’s ailing health. “Lady Margaret would not be seeing Sarah Palin,” one source said. “That would be belittling for Margaret. Sarah Palin is nuts.”

Hypocrisy 101..........

For all the talk of cutting government spending...........

Boehner’s Monthly $2,000 Tab
Speaker Last in House Taking Expense Checks
By Paul Singer
Roll Call Staff
June 8, 2011, Midnight

When John Boehner rose from Minority Leader to Speaker in January, he not only expanded his staff and his paycheck, he more than doubled the expense-account check he cashes each month.

As Minority Leader, the Ohio Republican had received a direct payment of $833 each month from taxpayers to cover “official expenses for leaders,” the same monthly total then-Majority Leader Steny Hoyer received.

But Boehner now receives a monthly $2,083.33 direct payment for expenses, according to the most recent expenditure reports from the Clerk of the House. Because the total of the expense payment is the same each month, it is apparently not reimbursement for individual itemized expenses.

Boehner’s office offered no details about how his monthly check is spent. Spokesman Michael Steel would only say, “This money is used in appropriate ways for expenses related to his official duties.”

Beginning in January, Hoyer, now the Minority Whip, saw his monthly expense check drop to $527, and the Maryland Democrat in March stopped accepting it entirely.

A spokeswoman in Hoyer’s office confirmed he has not taken the expense payment since February because he decided “the appropriate thing to do was to stop receiving it.”

While Congress has set aside $235,000 a year to cover the expenses of House and Senate leaders, Boehner now appears to be the only Member of the House accepting this money in direct payments each month.

Former Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) generally used the expense account to pay for meals or ceremonial events; the expense payments were not made out to her directly. Since she became Minority Leader in January, there is no record of any leadership expense-account payments from her office.

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.), who served as Minority Whip in the 111th Congress, doesn’t use the account at all. Nor does Assistant Minority Leader James Clyburn (D-S.C.), who served as Majority Whip in the last Congress, their offices said in March.

Roll Call reported earlier this year that even as Congress has looked for budget-cutting initiatives, there appeared to be no effort to trim the annual budget for leadership expense accounts.
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