I know, right? It's kind of amaazing that no one has captialized on the idea of silent velcro. Think of the uses! Theatre! Sex slaves! Stalkers! Oh, and of course those times when you're with the one you love and mom and dad don't know...

Yes, with three types of heat you can - in fact - cook a turkey in twenty two minutes. Know how I know this? Alec Baldwin told me. He never lies.